Have you ever ever observed that generally the best issues can journey you up essentially the most? One minute you are feeling such as you’re rocking it, then hastily, out of nowhere, one thing derails you and sends you spiraling backwards?

Why is that?

Imagine it or not, typically it comes right down to our WORDS—actually our self speak, and the issues that we are saying to ourselves.

As a result of let me inform you, the older I get, the extra I understand simply how a lot the phrases we use and the way in which we speak to ourselves even have a profound affect on our beliefs and our mindset, and our beliefs and mindset are what in the end shapes our actions—the issues we do and the alternatives we make—which in flip shapes our outcomes.

So, to place it in quite simple phrases, in case you’re utilizing the fallacious phrases, you’ll get the fallacious outcomes.

And I can inform you that is one thing that’s true for me too. Whilst a objective setting junkie who’s been working alone private growth for years, I nonetheless wrestle with this on a regular basis. It’s a relentless battle to be intentional with my phrases and with my ideas, and never allow them to slip again into outdated patterns and outdated methods of pondering that haven’t served me up to now.

And it’s been a great reminder for me that that is one thing that we ALL want to concentrate on and to work on, just about ALL the time.

As a result of actually, it’s not at all times simple. Generally it appears like our brains are simply hardwired to give attention to the unfavourable and to search for the issues. We’re hardwired for self-protection and self-preservation, and generally meaning we’re continually in search of what’s going fallacious, or what’s going to go fallacious, or what may go fallacious.

And so we are saying issues to ourselves like “I’ll by no means be capable to do it” or “it’s simply too arduous” or “I’m at all times going to be this fashion” or “I’ve at all times struggled with this” or “I simply don’t have the willpower” or “it’s simply not meant to be” or “I’m simply too busy” or “I don’t come up with the money for” or “I’m not sturdy sufficient” or “I’m not adequate.”

And whereas it could seem to be these are simply phrases, they’re really extremely highly effective, as a result of each time we are saying one thing like that, we’re reinforcing a perception, not solely in our aware thoughts, but additionally in our unconscious thoughts, which is the place our actions in the end stem from.

And it’s these actions—or lack of motion—that can at all times decide our outcomes.

However what in case you may change that? What in case you may change your phrases and alter your outcomes? What in case you may begin to be extra intentional together with your language and together with your self-talk, and reprogram your unconscious thoughts to BELIEVE that you may obtain your objectives?

Truthfully, that will be fairly highly effective, proper?

And the excellent news is that it’s really doable. However step one is at all times consciousness. You must first acknowledge the phrases and phrases which can be holding you again with the intention to change them. 

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The three most harmful phrases in your vocabulary

So, let’s begin by speaking concerning the three most harmful phrases in your vocabulary, at the very least in relation to dropping pounds and getting wholesome. I’ll wager you’re in all probability utilizing these phrases on a regular basis with out even realizing it. Actually, I just about assure it, as a result of it’s one thing virtually everybody says, and it’s one thing that’s develop into so widespread in our tradition that we don’t even actually cease to consider it.

And people three phrases are “I don’t have.”

Let that sink in for only a minute. “I don’t have.”

Have you ever ever stated that earlier than? I’m guessing that you just in all probability have. Possibly you’ve stated it out loud, however even in case you haven’t, I’m guessing that you just’ve in all probability stated it to your self in your personal head.

“I don’t have sufficient time.”
“I don’t come up with the money for.”
“I don’t have sufficient willpower.”
“I don’t have sufficient power.”
“I don’t have the best genetics.”
“I don’t have a supportive partner.”
“I don’t have a great metabolism.”
“I don’t have the best sources.”
“I don’t have the flexibility to cook dinner wholesome meals.”
“I don’t have the best health club gear.”
“I don’t have a health club membership.”
“I don’t have the best instruments.”
“I don’t have the best atmosphere.”
“I don’t have the best schooling.”
“I don’t have the best assist system.”
“I don’t have a great plan.”
“I don’t have the flexibility to remain on monitor.”

The listing goes on and on and on and on. And whereas all of these items might FEEL true, the fact is that they’re merely not true. Actually, they’re all simply excuses.

None of these issues are literally true. However they FEEL true, as a result of they’re the phrases you’ve been utilizing to explain your scenario for thus lengthy. They’re the phrases you retain telling your self over and over. They’re the phrases which have develop into so ingrained in your thoughts and in your perception system that you just don’t even understand you’re saying them anymore.

And people phrases—”I don’t have”—are extremely harmful, as a result of they’re extremely dis-empowering.

They take away your energy to alter, as a result of they make you imagine that you just’re caught and that you haven’t any management over your circumstances.

And the reality is that, whilst you might not be capable to instantly change each single circumstance in your life, you ALWAYS have a selection in the way you reply to these circumstances.

You may both select to maintain telling your self what you don’t have, and maintain getting the identical outcomes. Or you may select to begin telling your self a special story, and truly get completely different outcomes.

So the query is, in case you’re utilizing the phrases “I don’t have” after which following it with some form of excuse, what are you actually selecting for your self? And is that the selection you wish to make?

The facility of reframing

However what in case you may make a special selection? What in case you may change your phrases, and alter your end result? What in case you may begin to re-frame your excuses and switch them into one thing empowering?

Properly, you may. And it begins by altering only one phrase. As a substitute of claiming “I don’t have” you can begin saying “I gained’t.”

“I gained’t make time.”
“I gained’t make investments the cash.”
“I gained’t prioritize my well being.”
“I gained’t change my habits.”
“I gained’t get off the sofa.”
“I gained’t cook dinner wholesome meals.”
“I gained’t deal with myself.”
“I gained’t get assist.”
“I gained’t give up the sugar.”
“I gained’t do the work.”

As a result of that’s the reality, proper? You’re not really doing these issues. You’re selecting to not do them. And once more, that’s a selection you get to make. However at the very least once you begin to acknowledge it as a selection, you can begin to ask your self some necessary questions.

Questions like “why am I selecting this?” and “is that this actually what I would like?” and “what would occur if I selected in a different way?” and “what do I stand to realize, and what do I stand to lose?”

And people are actually highly effective questions, as a result of they pressure you to take an extended arduous take a look at what you’re actually saying to your self and the tales you’ve been telling your self for thus lengthy.

And I believe you’ll be shocked at what you discover. I believe you’ll understand that a whole lot of these excuses that begin with “I don’t have” are actually simply concern in disguise. Worry of the unknown. Worry of change. Worry of failure. Worry of success. Worry of what different individuals will suppose. Worry of the hassle required. Worry of dropping the consolation and safety of your present scenario.

And that’s okay. Worry is a really regular emotion, and it’s one thing that all of us need to take care of. However you don’t need to let it maintain you again.

When you understand that every one of these “I don’t have” statements are only a selection, you can begin to make a brand new selection. You can begin to decide on to acknowledge your concern, after which take motion regardless of it. You may select to be courageous. You may select to imagine in your self. You may select to take small steps ahead, even in case you’re not 100% positive of the result.

And that’s the place the true magic occurs—once you begin to take motion based mostly on the brand new selections you’re making for your self. As a result of each time you are taking motion, regardless of how small, it adjustments your momentum. It propels you ahead. It offers you power and confidence to maintain going. It permits you to begin reaping the rewards of your new selections.

And all of it begins with the straightforward act of fixing your phrases.

The way to change your phrases and alter your outcomes

So, now that we’re conscious of those three little phrases which have such a big effect on our skill to succeed—”I don’t have”—and now that we’ve talked about how harmful and dis-empowering they are often, it’s in all probability value taking a couple of minutes to speak about what to do subsequent.

In spite of everything, consciousness is simply step one. When you’re conscious of what you’re really saying to your self and the way in which these phrases are impacting your mindset, you can begin to be extra intentional in selecting completely different phrases.

So, how do you try this?

Properly, actually, it’s so simple as recognizing once you’re utilizing these three little phrases after which making a aware resolution to decide on completely different phrases.

For instance, let’s say you catch your self saying “I don’t have sufficient time.” As a substitute of claiming that, you might say “this isn’t a precedence for me proper now.”

Or as a substitute of claiming “I don’t come up with the money for.” You would say “I’m selecting to spend my cash on different issues proper now.”

Or as a substitute of claiming “I don’t have the best sources.” You would say “I haven’t discovered the best sources but.”

Or as a substitute of claiming “I don’t have the best assist system.” You would say “I’m selecting to not search out a assist system.”

And that may really feel a little bit bit uncomfortable at first, as a result of it forces you to take possession over your personal selections. However I promise you that it’s much more empowering than persevering with to inform your self the identical outdated story.

And each time you catch your self utilizing these three little phrases and select to re-frame your assertion, you take again management. You might be selecting your personal path. You might be telling your self a brand new story.

And that, my pal, is the place actual change occurs.